woman is always woman.How ever much freedom is given to her due to biological structural dis advantage she has to be under the care of some one to safe guard her.That is why it is said "BALYE RAKSHATHU PITHA,YOUVANE RAKSHATHY BHARTHA ,VARDHIKYE RAKSHATHU PUTHRAHA AND NA STREE SWATHATRYAM ARHATHI." Can ever a lady take care of her self from urchins and hooligans and rapists.A lady forgetting her natural weaknesses feels happy when she discards her husband for what ever be the reason.After all she must bear with her husband and try to live with him amicably. When this thought vanishes she feels all the more desirous of divorce
Yes I agree with you sara.I also say not to waste so much money in our weddings. Instead this money can be better spent in setting up new family.
I agree with you. Its foolish and from my point of view- it then denotes that the woman has become a 'unit' as price has been fixed on her. Marriage is a commitment required by both sides and no matter how much money one receives will ensure that everything will work out, but then one must expect a couple of rotten eggs and we in India do have our share of them.
Why people demand for dowery..?? Do not they have ant daughetr in their home ? Dowery is a crime taking and giving both ways.. One should compaint to the police and must not spare such greedy people.. :x
Hello friends. I am the best example as a victim in the hands of dowry seekers. Actually 10-15 days before my marriage date my husband had demanded either a flat in delhi with a luxurious car or lumpsum amount of 20lacs. Not only this he also expected honeymoon tickets from my cousin. When i questioned him on his seriuosness he called it as joke and me as immature who lacks sense of humour. So, i dismissed my doubts against his greed. But later after marriage all my fears and doubts saw realities in them. All the previous demands came back into picture. But this time my in-laws were involved too. For my punishment---no honeymoon, no talking to parent, denial of food, abuses and thrashing me. Finally, he started insulting me infront of public and threw me out of his house several times. To my surprise, he and in-laws said if not 20lacs then 15lacs would do but with a Mercedes. But i belong from a middle class family so my parents could not afford it. They tried to convince my husband a lot that our daughter would earn gud and help you finanically but he refused to compromise at all. So my parents tried to arrange money for him......but i took a stand that i will not allow this to happen. Because if they are given dowry once...they will keep demanding it forever. So i took all the harassment, and society rejections...and here i m fighting divorce case against my husband.
You have every right to fight a divorce case. What we need is the formation of a society or club, where no one can accept dowry. Gradually, this society will expand to each and every corner of the country.
It is a lesson for every girl that they should not marry a guy who asks for dowery.. It is betetr to refuse for the marrige then to marry a person who is selfish and ask for dowery..
Girls should come forward and take step against those men who ask for bribe.. They shoul not bend towrds the demands of greedy people and must refuse marrying them,.. when girls comeforward then only those hungry greedy people will close their mouth and think twice before marrying..
translate how you have such customs in Indian state? it sounds incredible! To know that in China, have precisely the opposite ah. In here, if you want to marry,the man have to give the woman a dowry, not as you like. If we get married here, first engagement is basically we called "better than one", that is to give the woman 10001rmb, In addition, to make the bride joyful ,bridegroom also have to buy jewelry, clothes and so on for her , this all cost money ! If thry are in the city ,they would also need a house! For the husband ,marriage is a great burden. You just reverse here, and hey, if I was born in India i would like it!
It is indeed an inhuman act.. this tradition must be stopped and banned by the government.. Girls should stand firm against the people who take dowry and reject their proposals.. this is making the Indian marriage constitution hollow from inside..
Dowry must be stopped immediately Dowry is serious issue in India and not something new. There are evidences of the dowry even in many literary works of different age and time. Dowry system is illegal and to my mind, it must be stopped immediately. Many struggles were conducted in the past but it is of no use. The women must not marry the men who ask for the dowry. Indian women have to make their own step to stop this process. The dowry is an amount of money that the bride’s father has to pay to the groom’s family and lone thing can only strike in the mind that are the women treated as commodity?
I am sorry to here your story sister.I would like to share a story happened in kerala.its about a middle class Indian girl refused to get marry, when the groom's family asked for more dowry at the day marriage.She was very brave and well educated and her family was not very wealthy.They could'nt meet demands of grooms family.When grooms father somehow managed to get the part of the money just before marriage.Indian Girl refused to get marry in front of all the guests and family.Girl said i will not marry a man who wants money not me.later Indian news papers published this issue with great importance.she got great moral support from all around the state.she also got many marriage proposals,even better than earlier one.Many Indian women organizations and WomensForum supported her decision and praised it as a brave move.Later womensforum sued grooms family for compensation and marriage expenses.
The biggest evil in a marriage Why should you be giving dowry and marry a man. You have a lot more things to do in your life rather than marrying. And these men too are shameless enough to take the dowry money and get married. In a way they sell themselves. The better a job a man has, the better he looks, the more wealth he is to inherit, the more dowries he is supposed to get. Is this marriage?
Beware of those who take dowry Today, Dowry is one of the most shameful acts of all. This system has ruined so many innocent lives till date that i seriously request all the legal authorities to take some very strict decisions against the culprits of same. No one is at all allowed to take away breath of any innocent and the one, who is found guilty of same, has no right to live. Before enacting such act think twice that you also have mother, sister, or a daughter. What will you feel if the same happens in your family?
A Must Read - BROKEN MIRRORS: The ‘Dowry Problem’ in India Hi! I have recently come across this book “Broken Mirrors” by Robin Wyatt and Nazia Masood. The book published by SAGE publications is a compelling volume that examines those social issues pertinent in cases of ‘dowry-related’ domestic violence and death in India. It is based around the true narratives of eight men and women, both complainants and defendants, and stems from over a year’s intensive fieldwork in New Delhi, Mumbai and Bangalore. Each story is told in a fresh manner, different from the one that preceded it. Thus, there is the account of a friend, a blog, an interview with a marital counsellor, the transcript of a session with the representative of an NGO for the falsely accused, a First Information Report (FIR) accompanied by a researcher’s account of her follow-up work, and the reflections of a prison social worker. In each story, the lives of the people concerned unfold gradually, such that the reader becomes intimately familiar with each case. A number of discussion notes then follow, picking up various of the issues that practitioners often fail to consider in ‘dowry cases’ and casting fresh light on them via careful analysis. Overall, this book shows that today’s metropolitan city marriages are multidimensional relationships that must be negotiated with care by both couples and their families. Issues such as values, expectations, roles, power, loyalty and financial arrangements all have to be worked out within the contexts of a crowded family environment. Where this complicated path is navigated unsuccessfully and breakdown results, sometimes taking violent and even deadly forms, the dispute too often enters the public sphere as a ‘dowry problem’. This seems to be in part due to the fact that in today’s cultural climate, it is considered less humiliating to make allegations about dowry than to disclose what may actually be more about emotional or even sexual problems; and partly because Indian law has been framed in such a way as to suggest that only the pro-women anti-dowry laws can lead to some kind of remedy. The book ends by attempting to address this problem, considering means to reform the statute law but also, more importantly, suggesting workable remedies beyond the law.
i think the women should stay away from families who seek dowry from them. there is no such rule that the women should pay the families to become an integral member of their family. it is seen the some women are made victims of cruel behavior from the families for longing on dowry. this almost makes their life ruthless and the shameless families keep their burgeoning demands on. atleast the males of india!! wake up and oppose to this unorthodox behaviour.
Dowry is the reason for many broken marriages where the girls family cannot pay the demanded dowry and the girl is abandoned by the husband. It is one of the most evil things that is going in our society. The girl herself should say "No" to the man who demands for dowry this will help in curbing social evils like dowry and should inform the police about the person who demands dowry. This can even save lives of many women who are killed for dowry.
