The Indian society has been evolving at a swift pace post the nation’s Independence. Joint families have given way to nuclear ones, females are more emancipated now, and our conservative outlooks have transformed into global ones. A trend has been perceived amongst young Indian couples in the past few years; it has been observed that they prefer to stay with their spouses, separately from their parents. A survey conducted by one the famous matrimonial sites last year in India produced the following results- When asked how and where they preferred to live after marriage, 64.1% of single Indian women said they preferred to live separately with their spouses, while only 29.6 % preferred living with in- laws. To this question, 43.9% of the single Indian men answered that they preferred living separately with their wives and 54.3% of them chose to live with their own parents.
Image Courtesy : serial Kahe Diya Pardes /Zee Marathi
Here are some reasons why this may be the case:
RESPONSIBILITIES AND ACCOUNTABILITY
Staying separately with spouse implies breaking free from accountability and responsibilities of a joint family. This entails responsibilities of all kinds, including financial ones. When you stay separately, you are at liberty to act on your own terms and make major decisions without having to consult multiple family members of the house. The money you earn is yours, and yours alone; no one will ask questions as to how much you spent on groceries, shopping, or on parties. Couples who live separately enjoy this freedom from having to be answerable to any or every one, at any point of time.
BREATHING SPACE
Modern day couples wish to be unconventional and create their own free space, where they expect no interference from anyone. Whether it is a good thing or not, is debatable and varies according to situation. However the fact remains that young Indians prefer to be in control of their spheres, and embrace privacy. With joint families, or families where the parents stay with the couple, this privacy is not guaranteed. Most females do not wish to be subservient to their mothers- in- law, and to maintain peace in the household, prefer to manage their own homes separately. Staying separately seems to be a good option to them in order to avoid painful clashes or differences in opinion within the family. Also, many couples these days do not believe in rigmaroles of tradition and in following customs or rituals; if the couple is not constantly under scrutiny, they are then free to explore their own customs. The need to follow rules in order to please the elders ceases to exist thereafter.
CAREER REQUIREMENTS
Careers are extremely demanding nowadays. If you are employed in a company in New Delhi, it need not follow that you will spend the rest of your life in the same city, working with the same company. The luxury that government jobs provided of stability is now redundant. The corporate culture requires youngsters to constantly shift or relocate every few months/ years. In this scenario, staying with parents is not always feasible. Furthermore, most young women are working wives. They have full- fledged careers that are equally demanding. They do not wish to come home to find their elders expecting them to do housework after a tiring day at work. Staying separately with partner gives them the liberty to handle things in their own way and at their own pace.
TASTE OF INDEPENDENCE
Staying separately with spouse implies liberation. No one can force you to do something you don’t wish to do, or put restrictions on you. Most modern couples prefer this bubble of free space, even at the cost of absence of parents in their homes. They are more in control of their lives, and get more time for their own selves. More importantly, they get more time for each other, which is a more preferable option rather than spending the same time with a larger family.
Thus, couples these days seek a sort of psychological satisfaction which comes with staying alone. They wish to assert their independence, feminist ideals, and the fact that they are now grown- ups who are capable of handling their own families and households without the assistance of their elders. While this need is understandable, the joys of living with family are beyond comparison. Living with parents/ in joint families brings peace and security in life; there is always someone to look after you in ill health and take care of your kids when you are busy elsewhere. More family members imply more affection and concern, and a sense of comfort which does not come with staying alone. Choose wisely.
