Marriage is not about age, it is about finding the right person” – Sophia Bush.
Marriage is an institution which predates recorded history. Since the times when humans started community living, marriage was seen as a strategic alliance between families to strengthen their relations and to further their progeny. In India, the tradition of arranged marriage is believed to have started during 500 BCE when historical Vedic religion gave way to classical Hinduism. The right age difference is one of the most significant factors considered for the successful marriage and since the beginning, a bride younger than the groom is always considered ideal for reasons of reproduction and longer period of fertility. But as India is progressing, rigid traditional rituals and concepts are giving way to modern arrangements which are unconventional yet successful.
Sachin Tendulkar is five years younger than wife Anjali yet they have one of the most successful modern marriages India has ever seen. Also, in recent years, Meera Rajput married Shahid Kapoor who is 14 years older than her and yet they have a successful and happy marriage. Which only proves that age does not matter if the people involved have the right attitude.
Yet, to choose a spouse younger or older than self is an individual’s choice. And it helps if an individual has a clear understanding of what points to be considered before saying “I do”.
- Compatibility: A successful marriage is not at all about age, but its about compatibility. So a girl might feel more compatible with a man from older generation than the man of same age as her. Every person has a personal inclination towards a particular thought process. So it depends upon what can be accepted by the person for the entire life. Because one has to understand that the basic morals and values of the spouse cannot be changed. So, if one can live with it for the entire life, the age difference does not matter.
- Maturity: Older people acquire more maturity with their experience and exposure to various life events. Of course its not a line written on a rock that all the older people are wise and mature. But there might be certain subjects and issues where difference of opinion can be a major factor of disappointment between the spouses with a huge age difference. So, it would depend upon the coping mechanism and understanding of both the people involved to tackle the situation.
- Temperament: Older people tend to be more calculative and plan all of their activities in advance as opposed to younger people who are more adventurous and impulsive. While initially this feels like fun and exciting, later the spouses might find this trait as a fundamental difference to their personalities. So, matching the temperament is as important as matching the compatibility.
- Fertility and reproduction: While this might sound a bit too traditional and un-feministic, reproduction is a major factor in a successful marriage. Of course with today’s technology and medical advancement, older women can conceive successfully, yet one can’t deny the fact that a younger wife can give that longer period for having a baby.
- Disease and death: In case of a huge age difference between the spouses, the older person might face health issues when the younger one is all raring to go. Also, the younger spouse might face a huge emotional crisis in case of death of the older spouse. The physical energy also differs a lot according to age. Same age spouses can easily maintain the physical and emotional health levels together. Of course with good diet and exercise, everything can be managed, but one never knows and it is always important to be prepared.
- Sex drive: This is self-explanatory. With the high level of stress and tension even young people are facing due to today’s lifestyles, it’s obviously very tough for the older people to deal with it at their age. Sex is the first thing to get the big hit. And if not dealt with maturity and patience, it might lead to disappointments and in some case also extra marital affairs. One has to make a very informed decision while going ahead with a big age difference between spouses.
All the above mentioned factors are no the complete guide book to deciding the age factor. Marriages have survived defying all the above mentioned factors. Also, some marriages have failed even if they conformed to the age old notions of a perfect marriage. So in the end it all depends upon how the two people involved take it and handle the issues arising out of age difference.
