“A friendship is built on the strong pillars of trust and respect”!
Isn’t this statement sound very familiar to us? Yet, unfortunately, most of us fail to follow the same. Every relationship grows stronger gradually if it is built upon the solid foundation of friendship between the two parties and for that, one needs to trust the other one wholeheartedly, which can be done only when both the people are comfortable in speaking their heart out to each other.
Sharing your thoughts and telling the truth bolsters your connect with the other person; then why to shy away from the same?
Many a times, we refrain from telling the truth to our close friend or partner or telling something that he/she deserves to know, as we are under the fear that it would deter our bond with them. The same holds true in case of marriage; though it is the most sacred and lifetime camaraderie between two people; yet, many people are not comfortable in sharing their deepest secrets, peculiar preferences or their past affairs/relationships with their partner or would be.
This is because they are intimidated by the fact that this would dent their image and would leave a bad impression on the other person.
Due to this, many people do not prefer to tell their past to their fiancé; ironically, if you share your secrets with someone with whom you are planning to spend the rest of your life then it certainly takes the burden off your shoulders and helps you to develop a stronger connect with him/her. It is true that people are reluctant to reveal their past at a very nascent stage of their relationship but they can certainly do so in due course of time, probably during their courtship period.
What I am trying to say here is, to trust someone is the stepping stone of every relationship, the bond between the two people can be resilient only when they are not apprehensive about sharing their life’s stories and secrets. So, it is absolutely alright to tell your fiancé or partner about your past, whenever you feel comfortable but you need to make sure that it doesn’t put him/her in a state of shock as that might further weaken your relationship.
This way, you will not have to constantly live under the fear that he/she might come to know from somewhere and your past will hit you back one day, out of nowhere.
Apart from that, you should also take care of the fact that it needs to be communicated in a very subtle manner. E.g. there is a stark difference between these two statements – ‘I did have a past and I am sorry about the fact that it might be hard for you to absorb this but you can take your time!’
‘I had a past; everyone has! It’s your problem if you aren’t able to take it in a sporty manner’
Being polite and empathetic towards your would-be will eventually nurture the bond between you too. There will be times when both of you will take time to come at the same tangent, while discussing your deepest secrets but that is the time when you should be putting your ego aside, while giving utmost priority to your relationship by being a bit more discerning.
So friends, marriage is a lifetime friendship and you cannot keep your closest friend aloof of your deepest secrets, so just put any sort of unnecessary fear aside and be candid about your past.
