We hear about body-shaming every now and then but what is observable in contemporary social structure of India is a rising trend in the society of a typical outlook growing in people towards women who adhere to their own norms which usually offend the ones that the traditional society esteems. This kind of objectification renders to slut-shaming that stems from the patriarchal rehearsal of assigning pureness and impurity to women, often regulating their sexual behavior, proximity with the opposite gender and policing their clothing preferences.
Ironically, the tabooing of women is not restricted among the opposite gender but women are equally participative in demonstrating their ‘affection’ towards those who dare to move along unflinching lines. Most of us are tangled in a web of hypocrisy and quite tempted at the idea of modernity and acceptance yet we deny acknowledging the disregard we have towards people who can be unapologetically themselves and inhibition-less. The problem is, it is not easy to polish the mindsets of people falling under such category who are afraid to even voice what they do not like; often viewing the world with closed eyes. The game is tricky – some design their limits while for some the boundless is their perimeter. Some are satisfied drawing lines to their preferences when it comes to relationships/career/life choices. What is questionable here is – how and when, people with ability to take risks become a threat to society? And who decides what is supposed to be morally right or wrong? I suppose there is no truth after all and all we have are estimations. But to enforce them on others to make others’ lives miserable and make one’s seem all sorted-out is unprincipled and abhorring. How does a woman who is sure about her choices, which are totally non-intersectional with that of others, could be prey to libeling and prejudices?
Intruding here with my personal experiences, most parts of my graduation went on explaining to people why I find it extremely normal to hang out with more than one male, drink what and where I want to, wear a certain kind of cloth, take part in strikes, stand for myself, plant a kiss on my friend’s cheeks on his birthday, talk in favor of pre-marital sex or live-in-relationships and more. But there it was – judgments showering on me from unidentified vents, making me feel awkward and inferior for my ability to be comfortable in my own skin.
My limited understandings comforted me that I might not have tuned in well in a college of a small town but frighteningly, I was seriously mistaken. Because it doesn’t matter where you go but whom you live with. It’s the people. It’s their social system and their mental elasticity. My old experiences unpardonably re-gathered during my post-graduation and I could no more come up with excuses as people not only from different states but from different countries assembled to be ‘humans of values and integrity’ in an institution of national importance.
A woman who lives fearlessly, dares to cross boundaries, breaks rules to make new ones, redefines the normal and fights for the ethical – to put an idea in the society that such free-spirited women should be ashamed and not worth being favored takes us back to barbarism. It is also worth observing that words like ‘Casanova’, ‘Stud’, ‘Sugar Daddy’ do not run along the same disparaging tones as most of the female terms do, like ‘Hussy’, ‘Vamp’, ‘Nympho’ and ‘Slut’. Because slut-bashing is an informal way to feel prevailing and to discover in order a society that makes someone (irrespective of gender, anytime) feel apprehensive about their choices and desires by calling them slut in order to reach on peak of social nibbling is not only uncharacteristic but reaping of intimidation. Double standards are a lot more treacherous than we would like to imagine.
