A mother’s love is like no other. Her aura itself is enough to give you your share of warm fuzz. A mother’s role in her child’s life is irreplaceable and inexplicable. In good times and bad, she has a huge impact on her child. All kids look up to their parents for inspiration; however, a daughter will be affected the most by her mother. This is because a daughter will always see a grown up version of herself in the mother. The mother will inadvertently end up as a figure from whom the daughter learns about life. This relationship impacts the daughter’s value system, her attitudes, and her manners. Consequently, it makes sense to accept that a mother can influence her daughter’s perceptions too. A woman must be careful of her words and actions since she will sooner or later influence her daughter’s body image.
You may not perceive it, but your child learns mostly by the example you set for her. Children are keen observers, and they absorb traits of your behavior and ideology. How you speak of yourself, or of other women, defines your outlook as well as hers. If you speak negatively about your body, or shame fat women, your daughter will also not have a healthy body image. Similarly, if you make fun (even in private) of any physical deformity or imperfection, your daughter will inherit the same ideologies.
A daughter always looks forward to dressing up like her mother, wearing her mother’s saree, and imitating her mother in grace. Often, the mother is the only woman whom she looks upon so closely, and with respect. Whatever a mother does or however she dresses up influences the daughter too. If you look at the mirror too often and criticize your curves or bulges, your daughter will also hate any curve on her own body. Similarly, if you reject clothes on the basis of how they make you look chubby/skinny, your daughter may also get influenced by similar standards of dressing and beauty. You may not realize it, but on several occasions mothers blurt out such deeply engrained prejudices and social stigmas. The child does not ignore these remarks, or brush them off as trivial. It does make your daughter think.
There are many occasions when the mother may body shame her own daughter and not realize the impact this has on her future. It does not fare well to constantly nag your child about her weight or even discuss it publicly. As a mother you may be concerned about your child’s health, but there are various other ways to improve on that. Stating it point blank to her in taunts or in public dialogues will make her feel ashamed of how she looks.
Beauty has no exclusive definition. It is not to be defined by society’s standards of complexion or vital statistics. It is important that you let your child know and accept this fact. Being fit and happy is priority. So is self- confidence. Everything else can be worked upon. As a mother you must be the voice of reason for her, and not an echo of what her peers or judgemental relatives say to her. Set a good example for her, and be prudent with your thoughts and actions. Being a parent is a big responsibility, and only you can help your daughter bloom into a beautifully confident young woman. While it acceptable that you cannot always be an ideal figure (for you too are human), you can make small changes in your attitude and it shall reflect well in your daughter’s sensibilities.
