“I should talk to her”
“I should give him answers”
“I should complete this course”
“I should go ahead with this job”
“I should not wear this”
“I should not tell her what I feel, I might hurt her”
How many times has ‘should’ or ‘should not’ come in our way? How many times has it created a hurdle in your path that you couldn’t cross and yet resented the way things turned out?
Most of us tend to give so much importance to what others might think or say that we end up forgetting what we want to do! We forget that the ideal nation we have in our minds can actually be a reality, if only we took a step.
We forget to keep ourselves first; we forget to remind ourselves what we really believe in! The herd-mentality seems so much of a norm and habit that we fail to realize that we are allowed to have a say in this, take the path that isn’t being taken by others! We forget that we can influence people just the way people influence us!
In a world where ‘should’ is the major motivator of actions and more often than not a discourager of dreams, there are only a few people who would realize that the world is mostly held up by the word ‘want’. The ‘Want’ turns into actions and then moves on to ‘should’ for the people who might have to listen to them!
Let me simplify this for you- the world is made of two types of people:
- People who are strong enough to dream and take the step to make it a reality and
- People who are too worried about what others might think.
This doesn’t mean you have to be inconsiderate of others’ feelings, or break all the rules, it just means that when you want to do something, from the very bottom of your heart, the only ‘should’ you must listen to is your heart’s. After all, in this world of obligations, you need to find a niche for yourself where your aspirations for the change would come true. In this world of compulsions and demands, you need to create options and make choices for yourself. Choices that would make this world a little less complicated to live in, choices that would make us all think of every individual as an individual and not a mentality.
The nation seems to be struggling between its old ways and new ways. And no change is easy. Each change brings a revolution and each change requires a strong heart. Most of the times, there are situations when it seems so hard to say no. It seems so hard to listen to your heart and go ahead with your choices. But try to take that one step; you’ll realize that people mostly know when they’re asking too much of you, even if they don’t, they realize you have a say in this and if neither one of these works, they realize they need to get over it when they see the influence it has on others.
Making choices is quite simple really; you just have to ask yourself 2 questions:
- Is it what I really want to do? (If No- find another way, there are too many)
- Is my choice going to hurt someone deeply?
And after the choice has been made, never forget that there are a lot of different people struggling through the same dilemmas with choices that suit them. Don’t judge each other, empower each other, make everyone’s dreams come true as long as their choices qualify the two questions mentioned above.
‘Learn to say no’ has been said too many times and the meaning has been twisted in too many ways. Also, it’s easier said than done. An easier way to saying no would be ‘Learn to say We’, make the decisions that would make India ‘The Ideal Nation’ we want it to be, believe in your goodness and take that step you’ve always hesitated to take.
