Grumble, grumble, grumble! I know she has been troubling you a lot of late and you have exchanged gruesome looks already or maybe even had a heated argument and told each other how much you despise the other. Peace out, I am here to help you both negotiate now.
No inhibitions!
Many a times, the other person is not even aware of the way she has caused you annoyance. Your resentment might keep growing in you without you even realizing it. Therefore, if you find any behaviour of your room-mate unacceptable: talk it out. Be sanguine about the fact that she might be a peace-lover.
Smile Now?
Of course, you need to smile now that I am there to help you out but maybe you should start smiling at each other too. Even when you are feeling at your worst, make an attempt to stay cheerful. Your room-mate may start admiring you secretly. Moreover, the more happier you stay, the less will you be encouraging the animosity for each other. Nobody likes a room-mate who stays depressed and unhappy. Cheers!
Say ‘no’ to grapevines!
If you have grievances against your room-mate, it is better to not to talk about it with the other inmates unless the other person is trustworthy and ready to offer you some help. From one ear, the discussion will move on to the other and it might eventually reach your room-mate. (You know how grapevines work!) Not only should you avoid talking about the problems between the two of you with other people but also discussing about how you dislike her. This will cause further damage to your relationship with her. Keep it as one-on-one as possible.
No blame-games!
The worst thing you could do to denigrate the situation is to blame her for something you did not like about her. She is as much a human being as you are. Instead tell her: “I was really troubled by what happened the other day. You must not let that happen again.” It will be counter-productive to keep blaming each other for what went wrong. You may not be aware of any of your behaviour that might have triggered her to behave with you in an unpleasant way.
Do her a favour.
Your relationship with the room-mate could be falling apart but hey, it can be stitched together. Do her a favour! Clean up the entire room for her or get that plate of food for her. If not then switch on the fan for her. Believe in little things can make a huge difference. She might not respond immediately but over time she would. It will be a win-win situation. Even if she does not respond as long as you stay, she might still remember you happily once the two of you leave.
Be friends!
Your room-mate could be your eternal best friend. Talk to her about her life and let her know about yours. Everyone has their own set of problems. Sometimes, the behaviour that has caused you trouble might not even have been done intentionally. You might just find a great friend in her. Also, instead of dreading returning home from your workplace, you might even start looking forward it!
Attention Please! (clearing throat) You are not going to live with the problematic room-mate forever. Even if things do not work out in your favour, seek a change of room or start interacting with other inmates. You should not let all that negativity affect you! I sign off from here now.
It is very important to have a nice roommate otherwise your work and life both gets disturbed.
Really good