In a country with prevalent moral policing standards and ‘what’ll the neighbours say’ attitude, it is not uncommon to still have a debate on personal freedom and pro-choice liberalism being in effect. This is the cognitive dissonance our nation collectively goes through. But are we moving towards a better India in an aspect as basic as who we love and want to be with? Are we, in principle at least, more open to accept such discussions, albeit in metropolitan cities? Yes, but that is not enough.
The Supreme Court of India recently observed that live-In relationships in India are a right that we enjoy and an adult couple can live together without marriage. It has even been recognized by the Legislature and has found a place in the Provisions of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005. The latter part of this sentence is in itself a poignant truth, but nevertheless gives massive hope to exercise basic rights.
The bigger question, though, still needs to be addressed. Let’s take an open minded, metropolitan city as a case – Mumbai, a financial capital where mixed cultures, economic classes and various other demographics coexist. How easy or difficult is it for people to live together as a couple not legally bound by a marriage certificate? Being a past resident of this happening city, I am a little ashamed to say – not very easy. Maybe not everyone will agree, maybe some will vehemently support this statement, but it all comes down to your personal experiences which could have been overtly positive or damagingly negative. First, most societies are tightly bound by committees which follow rules made decades ago and had categorically mentioned not renting out flats to bachelors or unmarried couples! Second, and the more hard hitting fact, is that even if these rules are NOT mentioned anywhere, society ‘welfare’ residents explicitly sustain the argument of spreading negative cultural values, partying or other outrageous reasons for not allowing this.
If this boils your blood and you have faced it yourself, chances are you will still meet with disappointment when you try to get a roof over your head. Of course, there are certain communities, societies and places where people are more open minded and believe in the adage ‘live and let live’. But there is no reason to cheer because there’s still a lot to be done, surely you can’t expect a couple to choose from a fraction of places to live in and convert it into a valid argument of living in being possible.
But this isn’t about one city and renting out a place. Why Mumbai was mentioned above was because you supposedly expect it to be ahead in its open mindedness and the same goes for Delhi, Bengaluru, and Kolkata etc. Chances are, other smaller towns are more accepting of these conditions and that we can be cheerful about. But it’s also about the attitude of people in close relations with the couples. Yes, you guessed it right, it originates from parents. Parents are protective, sure, but it is the community voice coming from families that we hear an echo of disapproval from. Questions of future security and familial values come into the picture and can be painfully disapproving.
To a liberal, globalised, educated individual, this nothing more than a farce and only having legislature along with a delayed judicial system means we progress at a snail’s pace.
Each one of us can undoubtedly do their bit though. And this is how – educate your parents. Debate with your friends and go full force with facts with your teachers. The next time we open our social media profile and see someone not making sense, utilize your time to school them. Be fearless in telling about your rich culture of openness and freedom the next time you converse with your broker, your landlord, your realty seller or even your house helper. No discussion is bad discussion if done about the right points. Neither marriage nor societal culture is the institution that should enable us to live us young, free, naturalist, loving humans.
