Christmas time is joyful. There’s magic in the air, with feasts and festivities all around. It is also the time when children all over the world receive something that they have been earnestly waiting for all year long- gifts from Santa Claus. As much as the kid within us would still want to believe that he is real, it doesn’t alter any reality. A question that pops into every parent’s head is whether or not they should reveal the truth about Santa to their kids; even if they do, what would be the right age to do so and how.
As a matter of affection and tradition, we understand the need to pamper your child and to follow rituals. The milk and cookies left especially for Santa at night, the excitement of waking up to colourful gifts in assorted sizes, and the pure joy of receiving the very same gifts you had wished for- the emotions and the experience is inexplicable and magical. As a matter of principle however, it does not make sense to lie to your own child.
First of all, why lie at all? A healthy relationship, be it of any kind, is based on trust and honesty between two people. If you expect your child to not lie to you, then why should you be lying to your child? This isn’t a white lie, or a trivial matter. You are making up a whole person who brings free gifts to your child once a year, just to follow a festival tradition. Does it not sound appalling? It’s high time you stop pretending or faking situations with your child. You bring gifts to him/her, so YOU are your child’s Santa. Let the child believe in you for the Good in the world, not in a made- up bearded man in a red and white suit; we don’t need Santa to spread joy and goodwill in the world.
This view is always questioned by the people who advocate for Santa. It seems to be the battle between Dreamers and Realists. However, we should not be focusing on these extremes. You are not going to take away the child’s childhood, or turn him into a calculative and cold person. To let a child be free, dream free, and soar the skies, you do not need to dictate a myth to him/her. There are many other ways to keep the fairy tale element alive in your child’s life apart from lying about Santa.
The system itself professes a worthless form of parenting- bribing your child to make him/her behave well all year long, lest he/she be put into the ‘naughty list’. In another article, we have talked about the concept of rewarding versus bribing, and the theory applies well enough here too. Do not fall prey to the age- old system of bribing your child and making him/her believe that they can receive gifts only if they behave like an ‘ideal’ child.
Your children trust you blindly, and believe every word you say. When they realise they have been dearly holding a lie so close to their heart, they may not wish to trust you a second time- at least not easily. If you were lying about Santa being real, they may question if you are lying about Santa being unreal too. There is a difference between protecting and pampering a child. You cannot keep your child away from reality or harshness of the world forever. They must be protected, not isolated from reality. They deserve to the truth, and you must consider breaking this particular news to your child at the earliest and in the gentlest manner possible. Be kind and patient.
By letting your child know the truth, you are giving him/her a sense of control and transparency. The child will then believe that you consider him/her to be a mature adult who can handle life’s realities. As it is, the whole concept seems unethical; it promotes a negative attitude. Your child thinks he/she will get free gifts, for absolutely no hard work. The child has to realise that the gifts are thoughtful symbols of joy and celebration, bought with hard- earned money.
Children are just like you. They are intelligent, observant, quick learners, and have raw sentiments. In addition to this, they are also keen observers. They see and learn. You must set a good example for them through your words, thoughts, and actions. Do not insult your child’s emotions and knowledge by lying to them for too long, or by lying at all. One or the other day, they will notice discrepancies, or someone else may reveal the truth to them. This will hurt the child even more, and the situation afterwards can get uncomfortable. Eventually, they may even end up feeling a deep sense of nostalgia or love- loss, when you take away a celebratory moment from them forever, terming it as a casual lie. For your child, YOU must be the source of correct information of anything under the Sun.
Not lying about Santa does NOT make you an atheist or non- believer. Spirituality, practical and cultural values, and moral lessons need not come from a pre- conceived global lie. You can instil good values and a strong belief in your religious path for your child, despite being honest about Santa. Santa is a symbol of hope and compassion. Tell your child of Saint Nicholas’ charitable and kind actions and let him/her learn about the goodness of humanity. Spread cheer, have feasts, and buy gifts for each other. Do your bit of charity and be generous of heart. Instil Santa as a symbol in your children’s hearts, and in this way you can keep the spirit of Christmas alive in the best manner.
