As the saying goes ‘Charity begins at home’. This applies unanimously to every human trait that you want to nurture, good or bad. Children absorb all that is happening around, again, good and bad. The grownups do bear a responsibility, which might not be obvious to them, but they are being watched and emulated. The other saying, ‘Practice before you preach’ holds true. I cannot preach my child to be polite if I am impolite.
The way we treat our elders, maids, and people who work for us, and our conversations with strangers must be scrutinized.
Some very important aspects of nurturing ‘respect’ into a child are mentioned below.
Show them the way!
It is not the school entirely that is responsible to groom an individual to a human being. Home is where some crucial lessons of life are learnt. Speak respectfully to elders, neighbors, workers, and also with children.
Practice before you preach
Yelling at others in front of your children and then explaining them the significance of being polite is hypocrisy. The child will definitely comment that you have no credentials to preach them.
Sorry and Thank you matter
Grownups should apologize and/or appreciate wherever necessary. Apology indicates that you accept your fault and children learn to acknowledge their faults. Similarly, appreciation teaches the child to see the good in others, which will bring in a sense of respect.
Being calm is the mantra
It might so happen that you as parents are following all the guidelines, but the child is unwilling to learn. The child may be unaware that his/her behavior is disrespectful. On the contrary the child can behave disrespectfully to seek your attention. The best that you can do is ‘Be Calm’.
Getting to the root
Do not be biased and tag your child as disrespectful. Find the cause for his/her behavior. Is it specific for a certain person?
Teach the child to speak
Sometimes scolding them for their act may lead to further behavioral problems. Teach your child to be vocal about his feelings and thoughts.
The child is an individual
Treat your child with respect who has his individual opinions and preferences. Never write a child off due to his/her age. You reap what you sow. Respect can be earned and not asked.
Nobody is perfect – The approach to incur respect must be positive. If the child commits a mistake, that’s okay. We all make mistakes. Punishing and scolding can lead to failure of the attempt.
The fact that cannot be forgotten is that one cannot teach respect by being disrespectful to others.
The other important thing that Parents must follow is to avoid gossiping in front of children. I have come across parents who address old family members as ‘Buddha (old man in Hindi) and Buddhi (old woman in Hindi). Never address a person based on his/her physical disability, color and/or abnormality in front of your child. The parents/grownups are role models for them, and if they are allowed to be disrespectful then the child certainly can.
