“Let me relax now baby. My life is gonna change soon”. Nothing can be truer than this if you are going to have a baby. Of all the important decisions of your life, parenthood could be the one journey which can alter your life course to the greatest extent. Sometimes you might curse the day when you decided to have a baby while there would be moments when you would be filled with gratitude for your little bundle of joy. In the middle of cleaning the poop, changing the diapers, feeding, putting the baby to sleep and getting a little sleep yourself, you would have very little time to take a break, lie back and think about how your life has changed for the better. Whatever preparations you make or however you prepare your mind for it, there will always be something you feel you should have thought better. With the baby, you rarely get second chance to correct your mistakes. And in the great country that we live in, the birth of the baby is all about celebration, family gathering, nosy aunties, curious neighbors and whole lot of advices.
So rather than getting confused after the baby (you are not in the mood to listen to anyone anyways), its better be prepared as much as possible in advance. Here are some of the tips/anecdotes/suggestions which can help a new mom/dad to know what to expect when you are new parents.
Know that your life is going to change:
As mentioned earlier, parenthood is the biggest change your life will have. Because there will be a new life who will be completely dependent on you for his/her survival. You then cannot delay any task or avoid any responsibility. Good food, education, other basic needs, quality time, all will be squeezed in your already full life. Especially for the women, the postpartum depression can take huge proportions if you don’t be prepared for it. And for men – you might not feel the strong emotion like the mother initially, but try to be as much involved in the process as possible. This can be a greatest help for the wife and also make you aware of the situation.
Know that it’s not going to be perfect as you have planned.
Arrival of the little one is nothing like shown in the movies with beautiful smiling babies and a happy family together. It is going to be hectic, tough and messy with a lot of sleepless nights. There will not be that beautiful baby scent but a lot of bad odor from constant peeing and pooping. The mother might be cranky most of the time due to fatigue. At such a time, its imperative to have a rock solid faith that everything is going to be fine after a while. Plus, you know that you have yourself decided to have a baby. So be calm and deal with it.
Caring family of nosy relatives:
An integral part of our great Indian culture, the entire extended family would want to meet the baby in the first week itself. So it can get even more irritating but unavoidable when you are already dealing with the new parenthood. Plus there will be plenty of those obviously stupid questions like “Does he sleep at night?”, “you must be feeling tired na?”, “Whom does the baby look like?” etc. You have to understand that all are well meaning/caring people with no intention of deliberately harassing you. Just keep your calm and let go of the time. Some of the relatives can come in handy at times – like if you want to leave the baby with them for a while and take a nap.
Advice, advice, advice:
Yes. With relatives, comes their truck loads of advices. So the “door ki chachi” and the “pappa ke friend ke uncle” will always have something to say about how to feed, how much to feed, how to burp, when to sleep and the list goes on. Keep a straight face and think of something else when the cassette starts rolling. Better, fake that you are not feeling well and excuse yourself. But this option is a little risky as the aunty might start on “best remedies for a mother”. Get it ???
Mother care before baby care
You might have already prepared a bag full of baby clothes, diapers, wipes, etc. But don’t forget to pack things required for the mother as well. Indian mothers generally don’t pay much attention to breast feeding aspect of their bodies before the birth of the baby. But thousands of mothers have faced feeding problems and regretted later. Buy a good quality breast pump BEFORE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. Also keep formula milk ready in case you don’t lactate on the first day. This way, till the time you get good milk, baby will not remain hungry. Plus also buy a pack of sanitary pads, comfortable nursing wear and if possible an extra soft mattress for you to doze of comfortably.
Make as much space as possible.
Once the baby arrives, the available space would be insufficient what with clothes, sheets, diapers, nappies, medicines and what not. There will be no time to rearrange the wardrobes and cupboards later. Better, make as much space as possible before going to the hospital. Also buy as many storage racks/units/hangers specially designed for babies as possible. Now or later, everything will find its use once the baby is there.
Find a good maid for the baby massage:
Indians cannot do without a massage. And without a doubt, it’s one of the few relaxing experiences for the baby and the mother as well. Some doctors recommend against the massage for the baby. If you are in a conflict, read, discuss with your spouse and then decide whether you want a massage or not. Even if you decide against a massage, a maid is always helpful for doing that extra laundry, clearing the plates or just taking care of the baby when you are in a terrible need of a nap.
Sleepless nights. Are they really that bad??
The disturbed sleep routine is obviously one of the most difficult aspect to deal with post baby. But you don’t have to be scared about it too much. If you are well prepared for that phase, you can deal with it quite well. Think of the silent, peaceful nights as a precious time of your life which you are spending with your little one. You will remember this time for your entire life. It will be better if you spend it calmly and happily rather than with anger and resentment.
Relax and enjoy
Last but not the least of course. Please enjoy this phase, indulge yourself a little, take a walk in the garden, get that pedicure done or get a head spa. Read a lot of good books, listen to music. Don’t overthink about the discomforts you are going to face but think about the joy the little baby will bring. The baby is after all a part of you and its always great if it gets healthy and happy parents. So be yourself and enjoy the phase to the fullest as it comes only once.
