I went to a marriage. Everybody was busy doing marriage preperations. “I hope there is no shortcoming in our preperations. If “Ladke wale” doesn’t like it , they will cancel this relation . and then where will our daughter go? Nobody will marry her. Everybody will blame us” – one of the bride’s relative expressed its views. I don’t understand one thing, why the boy’s family is given more preference always? Are they born with magical gems? That whenever ladki wale will be in trouble they will use their magic and drag them out of the mess. Or they are given some special blessings, that they will always be treated equivalent to god? Everytime when ladki wale meets ladke wale , they stand beside them,bending there heads a little, giving the acute respect to ladke walas. I agree…people now-a-days don’t do such discrimination. But, I was standing at a place where similar thing was happening. My uncle transferred the possession of his daughter to his son-in-law in the form of kanyadan and when she was leaving her maika, uncle join his hands in front of the groom and requested him to take care of his daughter. Groom also assured him the security of his daughter. This was what that happened over there in haryana, in the kanyadan ceremony of my friend. Marriage went on successfully. Everybody gave a sigh of relief. A major responsibility was been fulfilled by my friend’s family. After some years I went to her, to ask her whether she was doing fine or not? How was her husband fulfilling his promise that he has given to his father-in-law. And most of all…how was the love budding between the two souls. Chirping all these questions in my mind I left my place for Haryana, my friend’s sasural. I was meeting her after 2 years, so I was expecting something great. I moved towards the house that said- Gupta villa H.no. 27/3, maker vihar, Haryana-110076. This was the correct address. Really..i strived hard to find her sasural. Finally I got it. As I went near, I got to hear some strange noises, probably coming from inside. “ my daughter-in-law is very lazy. I am asking for water from her from past 10mints. But, I don’t kn…w where is she busy. Probably feeding …husband who has just returned from … But, wh….ver it is- she should give me a glass of water first. It hardly take 2 mints. …..” I tried to listen from the key hole. And this was what I could understand. She was complaining about his daughter-in-law to one of her best friend. Suddenly 1 girl passed by me in jeans-kurti , giving me a harsh look. Probably, she was the daughter of this house. I went inside. “Namaste”- I greeted mother-in-law. “namaste beta…namaste. How are you? “- she asked. “ I am fine aunty, you tell”- I said. “ we are living beta, your friend is in a great house. She is very lucky, I must say. I treat her like my own daughter. ”- she started praising about her service towards her daughter-in-law. In laws are very smart when it comes to their goodwill. Before anybody questions , they are ready with the answers. Specially mother-in-laws,. I went to her . “Hi silky..how are you? “ - I greeted her. “I am fine…you tell..”- she replied. There was depression in her voice. I was not convinced with the answer. So I asked- Are you ok? Yes..of course. – she said. Oh yes…I have forgotten to tell you. I am expecting. Oh really??- I jumped in excitement. I was so happy. I was happy to know that She was stepping on the stage where every girl long to stand. She was going to become a mother, a true blessing from god. But , that happiness of being called was missing on her face. Is everything fine?- I asked keeping my hands on her soft face. Why are your eyes so wet…please tell me.-I insisted. She looked into my eyes and suddenly broke into tears. “I am not fine here ritesh, I am not fine. I am burning piece by piece every day, every minute. Tell me- am I a puppet? Everyday they impose their orders on me. I am not allowed to go out. I am not allowed to meet my parents. It’s there will always. It’s there desire always.i bury myself whole day n night to serve my family and at the end I get to listen- my bahu doesn’t do anything. Apart from all this, he(her husband) doesn’t talk to me at all. After 1 year of our marriage only he has started ignoring me. His family is most important for him. I don’t ask him to leave his family. But I just demand his little time. I want him to understand me. Everytime when mom scolds me, he thinks it’s my mistake. And he scolds me more. I feel like leaving this house. It’s almost killing me. Tell me ritesh…what should I do? “ She was crying and speaking at the same time. I calmed her first and offered her a glass of water. Listen to me silky…I have a solution to your problem. Tell me silky if they have been your own mom-dad. Then also will you be crying like this? Will you be leaving your mom-dad for the same thing? No-silky replied. “how will I be leaving them…they are my core responsibility. Whatever I am I am because of them only.”-she added. Exactly silky, you won’t have been leaving them because they are your parents. Your own parents. In the same way silky, they are also your parents. Your own parents, your responsibility. So whatever they do to you, good or bad, you should not feel bad. Because they are your parents. And trust me, the day you will accept them as your parents, no word of theirs will pierce you deeply. You will consider it a part of life and let it go. But, your love towards them will not fade. You will love them the way you love your parents. With this, you will be loyal towards them in every situation. These responsibilities that you are fulfilling right now won’t seem to be as a burden to you. Infact, you will enjoy them. And sometimes you will laugh on their insane reactions…I giggled. They are your parents silky. They just expect some things from you. That’s why react like this. But , they are not bad. Understand them- I know you will shine with flying colours. And tell me one thing silky- havn’t your parents refused you to go out many a times? Yes- replied silky. Then??- I asked. Silky…you are not their daughter, but like their daughter. They love you. They will never deny your rights that you deserve. Because…they are not bad. And even if you think that things are going worse…then just ignore . don’t mind about that. And if at anytime you think you are loosing yourself, they are dwindling you everytime. Then, my friend- you are free to fly in your own world. But, this is a rare case. This will happen when even after getting your immense love , they are treating you like a slave. Choose your own path at that time. “but, this is happening now also. My mother-in-law doesn’t like the food cooked by me. But she heartly appreciates what her daughter cooks”-silky said. That’s under the possession of her love towards her daughter…that’s it. Many a times your mother also might have defended you and have spoken against your friend when she hurted you…you remember that incident 7yrs ago? When you were late at home . you went out with reema for your birthday celebration . your father was in high temper and was almost going to beat you. Then your mother couldn’t bear it and scolded your friend like anything….remember?? –I asked. Yes..- she replied. Same is happening with you my friend. Give her some time to accept you. Your case is not so intense that you need to run away. If the case goes like- “if you are repeatedly serving her and she says- my bahu doesn’t do anything. It’s only I who does the things. Then my friend, she is under a habit of blaming you. You can’t do anything at that time. Thus, take your stand and do what you want to do. Because you are not getting the love you deserve and you have started suffocating. Only your innerself will help you at that time. Just listen to your heart and move on… And as far as your husband is concerned- then I will just say, there might have been something that has been pricking him. Try to get into the roots and sort out the things. If he is not talking to you then don’t worry, talk to him through letters. I am sure he will reply to them. But, in letters also. Don’t ask the questions directly. Just remember one thing at that time that before being your husband, he is your friend. So say things to him like- “I am there with you always, in good and in your bad times. If you don’t feel like talking to me, then don’t. it’s ok. But, at any point of time you think I can be of your help. Then, don’t hesitate. Just come to me and I will help you out.” These are magical words. They will certainly help out. And if he has something against you, he will surely pour that out. And then you will get a chance to sort out the things. And yes…always keep one thing in mind, if you have anything against his family, don’t tell them to him. He will react highly, as he loves his family. Now promise me…promise me you will give your relation a one more chance. “I promise you” – she said with a smile. I was happy to see that curve on her face. I left from there. Many days passed by, years passed by….. I didn’t hear from her. And, on one fine day I was sitting in my balcony. I was enjoying the lovely morning with a sip of sharbat. And a door bell rang- I opened the door. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was she…silky. And she was not alone, she was there with her whole family, along with her 3yr old son. They have come to thank me for whatever I did 3yrs ago. Seriously friends…it works. No relation is wrong, the problem lies in your way of handling them…
