Hey there, salam and namaste everybody. I need some advice. My love is living in Africa and she's of indian descent. I personally am half middle eastern and half american, and so it isn't allowed according to her family's standards. Her mom at first was hesitant, but recently she's noticed how much I love her daughter, but her father keeps insisting "as long as you live under my roof you'll abide by my rules and you're not marrying him". and she says if she marries me its considered disgraceful and nobody will show to our wedding, etc. her father wont even speak to me or let me contact him. we both really love each and i dont want to let her go. everybody is pressuring her because she's 21 and all of her cousins are already married and she's left. basically her dad says if she even speaks to me again he wont send her back to the united kingdom to study anymore. just the fact im not indian means she cant marry me. in fact she's been pressured so much at times she just wants to give up because shes afraid of her family. i know she loves me and i love her and we've been through so much together. im so scared cause in august her father is flying down an indian guy from usa to see her and see if they want to get married. im so scared. she keeps telling me whatever happens to be happy but deep down i cant because i know for a fact she's the one that makes me happy. i don't know if it helps you to give me advice but we're both muslim. her dad is gujrati and her mom kutchi. i really want to be with her forever and i know she does too, so how can i hang in there and get their parents to accept me? i'll do anything. thanks you all in advance for any advice and if you have any questions that can help you help me please ask, i'll keep bumping this thread. thanks.
Live & it let live Don't seed your thirst. If you truly love her let her go,because When you marry her there will be bonding between your family & her family. Bonding is never based on differences. Your father in law would never be able to live with pride in his social friend circle since the people don't go into depth but they don't loose single opportunity in finding faults in others. Either you request your father in law to take more time in getting her married & promise him that by that time you will not talk to her. May be you all will get more time to decide about it & you will also come to know by that time that it is Really love or just nothing. Even if you marry her by force today. One day she would be meeting her parents & since they would start creating problems in your relations unknowingly because they don't like you & your life would become a hell. Do things which makes everybody love you whether you are indian or not. What do the elders want from us ? Respect, give them respect & they will suggest you the best solution possible.
Thank you for the response. Yes I'm sure it's love, and we're both so happy. Well this is what I told her today and I hope this is good, I would like to double check with you. I told her I love her a lot and I don't want to put pressure on her to go against her family, and I told her I'd be waiting for her even if it took years. And I also said that slowly by slowly I'd like to begin speaking to her father (who at the moment refuses to speak to me), and I'm assuming that as time passes he may feel a little more comfortable. But giving up simply isn't an option anymore. I'm trying to find a way to gain their acceptance while not ruining their relationship with their daughter (my love). I'm not sure how, but I asked if her mother or uncle who both wouldn't mind would be able to speak to me, and she said maybe. She really wants me to go see her in the UK too. I'm trying to find a way to do that as well. Bro Rujju I just don't want to give up because we've been through so much and we'd be the happiest couple ever if this whole cultural issue would just slide. I can't imagine her with somebody else. Perhaps I'm too selfish but I know even she wants to spend her life with me, all we need is the acceptance of her father now (I guess we have made a slight progress since even her mom tried reasoning with her father about it, and she used to be against it too, although she even says that the end decision is his). I assume they are worried because I'm western and that it would ruin the honor and tradition of the family because of the fact I'm merely not Indian, well I'm trying to let them know I'd be willing to abide by their cultural rules and standards if they so pleased, it really isn't an issue for me. I want to continue on and hopefully it'll work out for the best. Please keep the advice rolling. Thanks.
