A Great conversationalist is someone who connects with people and make them feel important. Usually , starting a conversation means coming up with an opening line or 'icebreaker'. The best kind of ice breaker is one that is positive - after all, the last thing people want to hear from a stranger is how noisy the party is, how awful the food is, or how badly the party goers are dressed. ICEBREAKER A compliment is always a great icebraker. It will usually be appriciated if you feel like saying to someone: "you look great in that dress". Some girls may feel it's a clumsy opening gambit from a boy, and be put off. Sometimes you may want to be more subtle: "That's very unusual belt." People appriciate it when their taste is noticed. You may even want to wear something unusual yourself to a gathering-something other people can comment on in order to break the ice with you. Any news event is a good icebreaker. Read the newspaper or listen to the news on the radio or television. The Weather is another great opener. Many a relationship has begun with : "Wonderful weather we're having." If you think the above two suggestions are tired old cliches, remember that a conversation always has to startb somewhere. The Following hints may help you: - If you pitch in with something that isn't a nice, general easy subject, your partner may feel uncomfortable. - Talk about something you've just read in a magazine, what type of day it is, an interesting fact you've heard, something about your pet, or even a joke you've heared. Make sure, of course, that it's clean joke and not something that would embarrass you or the other person. ASK QUESTIONS Once you've got a conversation going, the best way to keep it going is by asking the other person questions that don't require just a "yes" or "no" answer, or questions that show genuine interest on your part as you hear what they have to say. Ask questions without becoming too instrusive. Choose the kind that will draw a person out-who, what, when, where and why questions. Once you hit on something you find interesting , keep asking questions in order to get the other person to elaborate on the topic as much as possible. Description is the best form of communication, because it keeps people's interest up and stimulates them. Use words to create images and paint pictures. LOOK FOR CUES Being good observer and reactor means being attentive and sensitive to the other person's cues, in both their facial and body language. Look for eye contact cues. If the other person is constantly looking away, they may be interested in something or someone else, in which case you can say : " You seem preocciped ." Take their cue and wind up the conversation and leave. DEVELOP A GOOD MEMORY Being a good communicator requires having a good memory and remembering things about the other person or events. Doesn't it make you feel special when you haven't seen someone in a while and they remember something you never thought they would? If you really want to attract people and maintain good, solid , relationship you need to be a good 'rememberer'. Its something that doesn't come easily to many of us. In fact, you have to train yourself and work at it constantly. The next time you talk to one of your friends, or even a new acquaintance, visualize everything they are telling you. Try to create pictures in as much details as possible in your mind so that you brand images in your brain. If your memory is particularly bad you coould always make notes. This works well with business associates and clients. Keep the notes in the file and look through them before calling up the person and when you know you're going to see them. RIGHT WAY OF ENDING A CONVERSATION If you've started a conversation with another person and you're having difficulty ending it, there are subtle signals you can send to the other person that will end the conversation without hurting the other person's feelings. Breaking eye contact is a good way of signalling to the other person that you are ready to end the conversation. Another way to signal that a conversation is coming to an end is to use transition words like "well" or "At any rate", or even statements like " It was really nice talking to you". You may then want to recap all that was said . To recap, look at the other person and state key points that have been made - theirs and yours - and express your appreciation for their point of view. Then you can add: "I've really enjoyed talking to you. I hope we'll have another chat soon."
