youthvoice
New Member
They say talking to yourself is the first sign of Madness, yet in practice, it is something we all do everyday of our lives. Not necessarily out loud, but with a voice that comes from inside - and what that voice says can affect your relationships, your work, in fact, just about everything you do.
Can't recall hearing it? Then try this simple test. Look into a mirror and tell yourself,' I am a beautiful person'. Chances are a small voice inside you may say, 'NO, you are not' or ' don't be stupid!' Think back and you can probabily remember all sorts of times when that little voice has spoken up.
You are facing a challenging situation and all fired up, when suddenly it whispers,' you can't do that' or 'that will never work' - so the temperature plunges and so does your self-esteem. It is so easy to think that it is simply the way you are, or that you can't control your thoughts, because they are just there. But that voice comes from inside you and that means you can control it- and make it help you instead of holding you back.
The mind works on a simple principle : it believes what you tell it the most. It is sad fact that for many of us, much of what we have heard is negative. From childhood onwards, parents, relatives, teachers, school friends, and even employers have - often quite unintentionally- given out negative messages about how we should act and think. In fact, psychologists estimate that by our early 20s, the average person has either heard, been told or given themselves more than one lakh critical or negative statements, in contrast to just a few hundred that are encouraging! But if you consciously give your mind plenty of positive messages about yourself, those are what it will begin to believe.
Once you learn to change the way you talk to yourself, that little voice inside you can become like a supportive friend instead of a spiteful, negative chatterbox.
People who practice positive self talk are happier and much more in control of their lives. Research has now approved that talking reassuringly to yourself can actually give you a physical "high", because it stimulates the production of endorphins in the brain.
To teach yourself this confidence boosting skill, just follow our four point plan:
1. Listen to your inner talk
Becoming aware of negative inner talk is the first step to changing it.
Listen to every word and thought over a 48 hour period." listen for both types of self talk - negative and positive. And notice especially the self talk that creeps up unconsciously. For example, if you spill the ink do you pass it off as an accident, or berate yourself for being stupid?"
When the 48 hours are up, right down the 10 most negative things you said or thought about yourself. They can be on any subject, from your performance at school/college/office to the way you feel about your looks- whatever you have written is what's important to your self esteem, and give you valuable insight into what you can change.
2. Create positive statements
Once you have discovered what's holding you back, the next step is to turn your negative statements into something more positive that you can repeat. For example, if one of your thoughts was ' I just can't seem to get organised', then turn it around into ' I am organised and I always know where to find the things I need.'
Good affirmations need to be short and simple, so it is easy to remember them and stop your mood from drifting. Always keep them in the present tense, so that what you are saying is true for you now. Remember, it is very important to describe what you do want, not what you don't. For example, try saying,' I now study three hours everyday', rather then ' I don't waste time anymore'.
3. Practice Positive self talk everywhere!
Affirmations can be practiced anywhere and anytime- you can say them silently to yourself or out loud.
Jane Duncan, author of choose your thoughts change your life says, " it doesn't matter whether you believe what you are saying. The trick is to sound like you do, which then convinces your subconscious mind."
You will have the most impact in the morning when you are feeling freshest and your head is clear of destractions. Stand in front of the mirror,or walk around the house, affirming the way you want to feel about the day's events. Don't worry if you feel silly: that is your old voice trying to prevent change!
Practice self talk in the shower by having a conversation with yourself, taking both roles. Ask yourself how you are going to feel and behave today, and reply with rousing confidence that it is going to be the best day ever!
If during the day, you have to face an unpleasant situation, pause and tell yourself how you are going to behave. For example, ' I am going to say what needs to be said, and I will be polite but firm' will put you in the right frame of mind.
By using these strategies, you are steadily taking back control of your emotions and thoughts.However you may well face some objections along the way.... but they are always temporary.
4. Patience, persistence and practice
We are always most comfortable with the thoughts we have lived with. So your negative voice will probably shout objections at you for a few days - it hates change - as you move out of what psychologists call your "comfort zone".
Remember to apply the three Ps - patience, persistence and practice.
For some extra encouragement, Jot down your affirmations every couple of days. Draw a line down the middle of an A4 piece of paper, and on the left hand side write down what you want to become true, such as ' I am always confident when I write an examination'.
Opposite this, note down your immediate reaction. You will notice that your inner voice's real reaction is negative. But do this frequently and you will soon start to see a change in the right-hand column. A straight "NO" will turn into "maybe" and then "YES".
After a couple of weeks, take a few minutes to reflect on all the inner and Outer changes you have noticed and your life - situations where you felt braver or acted more confidently than you would have before.
And finally, Enjoy the new You!
When you are regularly affirming what you want to become, you are bombarding your subconscious mind with lots of positive messages. Before long it will begin caving into the desire for a new you.
Whatever you want- to be more confident in your study, to be more comfortable with your body, to be more assertive or exercise more -- affirm it and then you will soon come to believe it. Persist with practicing all your affirmations as much as you can, but remember to be patient. We have grown used to getting instant results, but change is like climbing a staircase - things will happen one step at a time.
Can't recall hearing it? Then try this simple test. Look into a mirror and tell yourself,' I am a beautiful person'. Chances are a small voice inside you may say, 'NO, you are not' or ' don't be stupid!' Think back and you can probabily remember all sorts of times when that little voice has spoken up.
You are facing a challenging situation and all fired up, when suddenly it whispers,' you can't do that' or 'that will never work' - so the temperature plunges and so does your self-esteem. It is so easy to think that it is simply the way you are, or that you can't control your thoughts, because they are just there. But that voice comes from inside you and that means you can control it- and make it help you instead of holding you back.
The mind works on a simple principle : it believes what you tell it the most. It is sad fact that for many of us, much of what we have heard is negative. From childhood onwards, parents, relatives, teachers, school friends, and even employers have - often quite unintentionally- given out negative messages about how we should act and think. In fact, psychologists estimate that by our early 20s, the average person has either heard, been told or given themselves more than one lakh critical or negative statements, in contrast to just a few hundred that are encouraging! But if you consciously give your mind plenty of positive messages about yourself, those are what it will begin to believe.
Once you learn to change the way you talk to yourself, that little voice inside you can become like a supportive friend instead of a spiteful, negative chatterbox.
People who practice positive self talk are happier and much more in control of their lives. Research has now approved that talking reassuringly to yourself can actually give you a physical "high", because it stimulates the production of endorphins in the brain.
To teach yourself this confidence boosting skill, just follow our four point plan:
1. Listen to your inner talk
Becoming aware of negative inner talk is the first step to changing it.
Listen to every word and thought over a 48 hour period." listen for both types of self talk - negative and positive. And notice especially the self talk that creeps up unconsciously. For example, if you spill the ink do you pass it off as an accident, or berate yourself for being stupid?"
When the 48 hours are up, right down the 10 most negative things you said or thought about yourself. They can be on any subject, from your performance at school/college/office to the way you feel about your looks- whatever you have written is what's important to your self esteem, and give you valuable insight into what you can change.
2. Create positive statements
Once you have discovered what's holding you back, the next step is to turn your negative statements into something more positive that you can repeat. For example, if one of your thoughts was ' I just can't seem to get organised', then turn it around into ' I am organised and I always know where to find the things I need.'
Good affirmations need to be short and simple, so it is easy to remember them and stop your mood from drifting. Always keep them in the present tense, so that what you are saying is true for you now. Remember, it is very important to describe what you do want, not what you don't. For example, try saying,' I now study three hours everyday', rather then ' I don't waste time anymore'.
3. Practice Positive self talk everywhere!
Affirmations can be practiced anywhere and anytime- you can say them silently to yourself or out loud.
Jane Duncan, author of choose your thoughts change your life says, " it doesn't matter whether you believe what you are saying. The trick is to sound like you do, which then convinces your subconscious mind."
You will have the most impact in the morning when you are feeling freshest and your head is clear of destractions. Stand in front of the mirror,or walk around the house, affirming the way you want to feel about the day's events. Don't worry if you feel silly: that is your old voice trying to prevent change!
Practice self talk in the shower by having a conversation with yourself, taking both roles. Ask yourself how you are going to feel and behave today, and reply with rousing confidence that it is going to be the best day ever!
If during the day, you have to face an unpleasant situation, pause and tell yourself how you are going to behave. For example, ' I am going to say what needs to be said, and I will be polite but firm' will put you in the right frame of mind.
By using these strategies, you are steadily taking back control of your emotions and thoughts.However you may well face some objections along the way.... but they are always temporary.
4. Patience, persistence and practice
We are always most comfortable with the thoughts we have lived with. So your negative voice will probably shout objections at you for a few days - it hates change - as you move out of what psychologists call your "comfort zone".
Remember to apply the three Ps - patience, persistence and practice.
For some extra encouragement, Jot down your affirmations every couple of days. Draw a line down the middle of an A4 piece of paper, and on the left hand side write down what you want to become true, such as ' I am always confident when I write an examination'.
Opposite this, note down your immediate reaction. You will notice that your inner voice's real reaction is negative. But do this frequently and you will soon start to see a change in the right-hand column. A straight "NO" will turn into "maybe" and then "YES".
After a couple of weeks, take a few minutes to reflect on all the inner and Outer changes you have noticed and your life - situations where you felt braver or acted more confidently than you would have before.
And finally, Enjoy the new You!
When you are regularly affirming what you want to become, you are bombarding your subconscious mind with lots of positive messages. Before long it will begin caving into the desire for a new you.
Whatever you want- to be more confident in your study, to be more comfortable with your body, to be more assertive or exercise more -- affirm it and then you will soon come to believe it. Persist with practicing all your affirmations as much as you can, but remember to be patient. We have grown used to getting instant results, but change is like climbing a staircase - things will happen one step at a time.