The recent reports of the WHO about the youngsters in India is alarming as the nation expects the young shoulders to take the responsibility in near future but the high stress levels in youth and the self destructive behavior leaves the question on people’s mind. Are the youngsters really strong enough to shoulder responsibilities?
According to a survey done in December 2014 the self destruction rates have brought the nation in the list of top 5 countries facing behavioral challenges in youth. Highly aggressive, self destructive, addicted to drugs and other forms of intoxication and suicidal tendencies growing amongst the youth is not only a dangerous attitude but questionable.
Parents come to know about their children’s behavior often when it is too late. It is then not the time to search for “whose fault” and “who to be blamed” but to handle the situation with maturity and patience as one.
The probable chances of turning to self destruction might be:
Too much of expectation : There are many families who expect a lot from their children, they provide best of the facilities and claim a lot in return, often it is a repetitive reminder which is always conditional and this leads to a pressure on the tender minds.
Dissatisfaction : The changing standard of living and family values somewhere face a conflict in most of the middle class households. On one hand the parents put their children in the elite educational institutes while on the other they stick to limited provisions as cost of living is on a pretty higher side. Most of the times the provisions made are due to financial constraints but the tender brains are too diminutive to understand the money matters and are dissatisfied
Peer pressure : Not everyone is equally talented or capable of doing things in similar patterns but somewhere or the other the peer pressure creeps in since early school education days. As there is a non- intentional comparison often, for example if a student is good at academics s/he gets noticed as compared to others and everyone praise and expect betterment from others.
Comparison within the family : It is seen often that there is a comparison made between siblings and cousins and sometimes the competition is so high that it becomes a do or die like situations for the children. It is mostly because of the inferiority and superiority complex of the grown-ups who fail to understand that they unknowingly invite a devastating future.
Conservative atmosphere: Still there are overtly conservative families who keep a tight grip upon the growing children, often so tight that the person starts suffocating in the surroundings and starts living a dubious life. Split personality disorders are common in such cases.
Too much of involvement in family issues and disturbed childhood : It is often observed that a child who has been through difficult times in the initial years turns a rebel when he grows up. It is because of the high involvement and dragging in the family issues. Whenever there is a discomforting situation it is observed that such children harm themselves either by minor injuries or some kind of addiction which often go unnoticed an when it is discovered in most of the cases it is a beyond reparable damage.
The feel of being unwanted : At times anger and frustrations lead to arguments and statements that might leave deep scars on the tender minds making them feel unwanted and unattended. This might lead to negative thought process.
Sometimes the circumstances might also leave them feel like a burden mostly in middleclass households the expenditures discussed openly in front of children impacts adversely.
Solutions :
Counseling : The first and foremost solution is quality time and positive counseling by the parents and siblings. If the counseling at home does not suffice to overcome the situation then the help of a professional should be sought without delay.
Monitored Freedom : In no circumstance should there be any comparison with anyone as everybody is unique with distinctive qualities. The inclination and likings should be respected. And freedom should be given so that the child discusses everything in a friendly manner. Too much of a freedom or no freedom at all, both are wrong, one should b able to breathe in his own space but not take granted the space of the other. And this requires a close watch of the guardians.
Encouragement : Every individual expects a recognition for his efforts, s/he should be encouraged and praised and if required guided to improve further. Not everyone is creative or too scholarly whichever field one is interested in should be used as a motivational tool for the betterment of other.
Comprehension : It is the duty of the elders to keep check on the children and simultaneously to avoid jumping on to conclusions too soon should be avoided. One should try to comprehend keeping in mind the various situations rather than jumping to a specific decision too soon. Times change so comparing with older days is never advisable.
Avoiding fights and regular negative discussions : Parents often unknowingly take up discussions and arguments in front of children who do not tend to understand the things completely and start taking stress about the things that they often can do nothing about. In reality the tough times passes away but the scars that they leave behind are long lived and mostly shape up the person as a whole. So it is the duty of the elders to keep a check on what are they serving to the juveniles.
According to many surveys done at schools and college levels it is found that in-spite of all facilities adolescents get off track from what their parents want them to be. Sometimes the reason behind this is too scary. Often the single child with both the parents working and having independent lifestyle turns to a wrong emotional support ending up destructing self. And sometimes too much pampering leads to insecurities when the reality is faced. Coping up with the challenges seem difficult and the youngsters take an easy way to escape. It is often observed that loneliness and avoidance by the family members is the basic reason behind the attempts to suicide or addiction to drugs.
There has to be a work life balance in the modern day nuclear house- holds. Time should be taken out for family outings and vacations and works should be subsided at times when some crisis or the other arises. Duties and responsibilities should be shared rather than forced on one parent. It is mostly observed that even if the mother is working she is supposed to take care of the upbringing and the father forgets that he has some additional duties and responsibilities other than just earning money.
If the small things and triggers are watched out properly then many unwanted situations can be drifted away. All you need to be is a little alert and vigilant when you have a pair of eyes that follows and learns from you.
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