Career planning comes under the list of major pressures that teenagers face in their high school years. They feel burdened with this crucial decision of choosing a suitable career for themselves. For making such decisions at this impressionable age, adolescents do turn towards their parents and guardians for support and guidance. In fact this involvement is important, as parents are experienced and have a fair idea about their childrens’ aptitude and interests. However, issues and disputes arise either when parents try to force their opinion/decision on their children and/or the children become irrationally rebellious.
In order to choose and pursue a career of choice, adolescents need to be more mature in handling situations, and have a balanced approach through this phase of life. Here are a few ways in which you can reach an equitable settlement or a ‘compromise’ with your parents, if your opinions do not match theirs in this aspect.
Don’t Let Your Mind Be Your Own Enemy
If your own thoughts are contradictory or you remain double minded it will not work in your favour. An effort to convince your parents for something that you yourself are unsure of, will definitely go in vain. So the first step is to be sure of yourself, figure out where your aptitude lies, and then choose a suitable career accordingly. Remember, only when you are sure of something yourself can you convince others for it. So give it time, do your research work, and then present it to your parents as an appropriate and reasonable career for you to pursue.
Talking Is The Way Out
For some of you talking and negotiating may not be a viable option, because of years of communication gap between you and your parents. Unfortunately though, there is no other way out. No matter how difficult your parents are to talk to, being firm with your decision/opinion will help you out. Back this up with logical reasoning and authentic data, and they will listen.
After having done your homework and having taken a strong stand, the next step would be to present it to your parents. This is to be done in a way that they feel they are talking to someone who knows what s/he is speaking, and hence is worth their time and consideration. Most importantly, you must remain composed. If you lose your temper or start arguing, the whole ‘mature’ act and all your hard work will prove to be futile. Stay calm and talk with confidence and sense.
Step into Their Shoes
Parents are our well – wishers and everything they do or say is connected to their concern for us. Even if you feel that they are being illogical and are trying to enforce their will, do try to understand their perspective. Ultimately, the goal of all parents is to see their children well- settled such that they lead a comfortable life as self-sufficient adults. Additionally, the fact that they are more sensible and experienced than you cannot be denied, and their opinion cannot be entirely ignored. Step into their shoes and figure out the reason behind their persuasion towards a particular career for you. Who knows, in all the pressure you might have missed out on something!
Take Additional Help
Apart from our parents, most of us have other confidantes. This may be an uncle or aunt, or an elder cousin, or even a close family friend. With this person, you share a special bond, and feel that s/he will understand your perspective. Before taking such an important decision of your life, why not take aid from them in whichever way possible? You may also wish to talk to people you know who are already pursuing that particular profession. Visit their workplace if possible, pursue internships, and go for orientations through their contacts. In today’s world where facilities lie in abundance, there is a lot you can do before you choose a particular path. Go for trial and error method on a small scale and see how different environments work for you. Also, it might be possible that if another adult or someone from the profession of your interest talks to your parents, they make more sense of your decision. However, this too depends on how your parents are, and whether there is even a slight chance that they will value anyone else’s opinion.
Reach A Compromise
In case your parents are still not convinced regarding the career of your choice, you are left with two options. One, you understand their dream and let go of your own. Two, you reach a compromise. Giving up on your dream altogether seems rather unfair, but you can always explore it as a simultaneous career/vocation. Should you choose the second option, it will be tricky for you. You must negotiate and reach an agreement with your parents wherein you execute/pursue a career suitable to both you and your parents.
Do remember that parents always want the best for their children and rebelling irrationally or disrespecting them is incorrect. Believe in them, but develop your individuality too. It is your life and it is you who has to live it happily. Even if you don’t pursue your wishes for a few years, there is no permanent restriction. You can always go back to your passion in one way or the other. Talent and opportunities have no expiry date. All the best!
