During the Paleolithic period (before 10,000 B.C.E) the earliest of humankind lived a nomadic way of life. Men were hunters. They left their families to hunt and bring back the meat for the family. Essentially, they performed the most strenuous duties because they were stronger. Women were the gatherers of the clan. They collected seeds, fruits, nuts and grain. They took care of their young and were to be protected as they were the child bearers. This represented the first differentiation in gender roles: women at home, and men working. As the Paleolithic society merged into the Neolithic society (ca. 8,000 to 2,000 B.C.E) and hunters and gatherers became settled farmers, women and men began to share a more even workload. Yet the basic differentiation between the gender roles still remained the same.
Even today in the 21st century, the basic responsibility of earning for the family remains with the men. Since the birth of the child, its imbibed in his mind and emotions that his father will be out for work. However, the decision of the mother to work or not makes all the difference. In majority of the Indian families, the initial years of the child are spent in the cozy confines of his mother, grandparents and lot of relatives which form a part of basic structure of joint family. Since the start of twentieth century, more and more Indian women have started going out of home for working which has reduced the time children spend with their parents overall. While a working woman can bring in loads of experience and maturity in raising children, it does have certain disadvantages which if not dealt with patiently, can be a deterrent in the child’s growth.
We at IndianYouth bring you some of the good and bad effects of working parents on child development which can help parents make a decision in their own parenting journey.
Good effects
Working parents definitely bring in a huge quality improvement in the life of their children. As both of them are exposed to new people and situations outside the confines of their homes, their thinking is way too progressive and mature. With their experience and wisdom, they can enrich their children’s life to a great extent. They also help their kids in understanding the value of time, because they get so less of it to spend with the family. When the children see their parents struggling so much just to spend those two hours at the cinema, they know how important it is to value time. Kids of working parents turn out to be independent, confident and good decision makers are they have to deal with their routine daily problems on their own. They don’t have their parents around them all the time which means that they learn to think independently very early on, in their lives. Also, these kids start respecting people and don’t take others for granted. Every day, these kids observe their parents – working hard and dealing with complex situations with patience and concentration – which in turn help them learn the same qualities when they grow up.
Bad effects
A majority of Indian families have not yet come to terms with a full time working mother. Because we are so accustomed to stay at home moms who take care of their kids’ way till their teens. For working mothers in cities, it is a major problem because day cares and crutches are still not that developed in India and the grandparents are not ready to leave their home towns and come and stay in the cities just to babysit the kids. It’s a huge psychological impact on small children when they are left in the care of strangers at the day care centers or other such places. Longer stay at the day care and shorter time spent with the parents leads to insecurity, restlessness and mood swings in children across age. Because the children get so less time with their parents, they might become more stubborn, aggressive and throw tantrums at the least expected situations – just to get that one bit of attention. Some children might also not develop that strong bond of love and affection with the parents in their youth and adult age because they hold a grudge against their parents for choosing work over them. It becomes a tricky and difficult job for the parents to balance their time in and out of the house and in spite of doing their best the parents might be left with pangs of guilt that they haven’t done enough.
The final verdict
Every home, every family is different. No one can put down a rule about whether working parents turn out to be better than stay at home parents. Parenting, is hugely a subjective process depending upon the ability of the parents to handle the situations and make best use of their resources. There have been examples where children with parents at home have turned out to be miserable and the children of working parents have been brilliant. Yet there are opposing examples as well. What we all need for growing mature human beings and responsible citizens of this country is support and a nonjudgmental attitude towards the parents – working or otherwise.
